Nektar – Remember The Future CD

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CD

Sandra: how are you feeling, Bottle?

Bottle: i’m fine.

S: really?

B: yeah. Sure. I mean, there’s the normal not wanting to go back to work tomorrow, and i’m in total hypochondriac mode over the tooth i had pulled yesterday. I’m sleeping upright in an easy chair, my tongue is playing hockey goalie with everything i eat, i’m totally terrified the clot will fall out and i’ll bleed to death, then i’ll get a dry socket and half my face will fall off, plus i listened to 5 Rascals albums this morning and made 2 pounds of experimental chicken sausage. But more important, is Nektar’s Remember The Future as good as i think it’s going to be? The concept reads like a Mastodon album, but everybody says “wish there wasn’t so much Funk on this one.”

S: it’s truly a mess in there, isn’t it?

B: yeah, for sure. But, imagine being a winged alien named Bluebird and every time you come to Earth half the people scream “ahhh! It’s a blue winged alien, run away!” and the other half scream “catch that flying blue monster so i can shoot and/or anally probe it!” My problems are trivial.

S: i’m not entirely sure how to respond to that.

B: how do you think his blind psychic penpal feels? That kid’s like “i don’t even know how to imagine a winged blue alien because my eyes don’t work.” So Bluebird’s like “oh, why didn’t you say so in the first place? I can totally fix that trivial problem.” Then the kid is like ” yay i can see! You’re not nearly as hideous and frightening as i expected,” and Bluebird’s like “thank you formerly blind child, my work here is done.”

S: [humorously elongated bong gurgle and exhale]

B: was that really necessary?

S: yes, Bottle. Yes it was. That’s not a synopsis anyone can process without copious amounts of THC in their bloodstream.

B: i’m not high, why should that matter?

S: you are also not normal. Any other human would have dangerously high blood pressure and a visible eye twitch if they tried to process all that sober.

B: yeah, i guess so. That sounds like people. Ok, fine, wanna listen to an English band in Germany famous for listing people who contributed absolutely no musical material whatsoever as band members play a 2-act concept album about space birds with me?

S: no, no i don’t. I’m barely high enough to get through this conversation with you. I’d need to use up all my Carl karma and have a Gladys brownie to get high enough to actually listen to it.

B: am i really that difficult?

S: sometimes. Only sometimes.

B: time’s like now?

S: yes, exactly like now.

B: sorry?

S: not your fault, you aren’t actually BEING difficult, it’s just that the psychic radiation is metaphorically melting the neighbor’s dog.

B: we don’t have any neighbors.

S: [more bong gurgling]… yes, that right there. That’s what i’m talking about.

B: now your eye is twitching. I know what will help, Nektar’s 4th album. It’s a concept album about an alien who-

S: i know what it’s about!

B: geez, you seem tense, Sandra. I’ll be fine, you go relax.

S: yes, thank you, i shall. [Exit, stage left]

B: wowzers, i wonder what got old snagglepus’s bikini twisted. Oh well, i’m sure she’ll be better tomorrow. Time to check out Remember the Future… Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff. I’m not gonna feel much of anything after this….